The Origin of Desperate Hands


 

In the dismal corners of my study, thumbing through the fifth edition of the Great Dictionary of the Indonesian Language—a book that smelled of dust and forgotten secrets—I discovered something peculiar. The word “pengemis,” meaning “beggar,” wasn’t just another entry squeezed between thousands of others. No, it carried weight. A history. A darkness.

Its root? “Kemis.” Coming from “mis.” Thursday.

Just a day of the week, you might think. Nothing special about Thursday—stuck between Wednesday’s halfway point and Friday’s promise of weekend salvation. But in this case, Thursday held something more. Something that crawled beneath the skin of history and nested there, growing like a tumor of tradition.

I leaned closer to the brittle pages, my desk lamp casting yellow shadows across the text. The dictionary defined “kemis” plainly enough: “to ask” or “to beg.” But dictionaries, like small-town sheriffs, never tell you the whole truth. They give you facts without the blood that pumps beneath them.

And there was blood here, alright. There always is when desperation meets power.

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The Dutch East Indies, January 25, 1855. While America was tearing itself apart over slavery and the West was just learning to photograph death on battlefields, the first Javanese-language newspaper took its first breath. They called it Bromartani—a fancy name for something that came out only on Thursdays.

But it wasn’t the newspaper that interested me. It was what happened forty years later, in 1895, when a reporter named Raden Samingoen Nitiprodjo started tracking the movements of Sunan Pakubuwono X, ruler of Kasunanan Surakarta Hadiningrat. A king moving through his domain, trailing power like aftershave.

Every Thursday afternoon, the Sunan would leave his palace—Sasana Sewaka, they called it, as if naming things made them less threatening—and walk to the Grand Mosque of Solo for Quran recitation. Religious devotion, sure. But what happened along the way was the stuff nightmares are born from.

That’s where it started. That’s where the darkness began to feed.

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Picture this: A king walking down the street, not alone but surrounded by officials with titles too complicated for American tongues. Bupati. Abdi dalem. Names that meant power. Protection. The king’s buffer against the unwashed masses.

And those masses? They waited. Crouched low like predators—or prey, depending on who was telling the story. They formed lines on either side of the street, patient as cancer.

When the king passed, they didn’t just bow. They scrambled forward to kiss his hand, to touch divinity wrapped in mortal flesh. In return—and here’s where the story turns, where the road drops away into something deeper—the king ordered his attendants to scatter money.

“Sinuwun,” they called this distribution. Royal charity. Divine generosity. But Raden Samingoen, that reporter with eyes too sharp for his own good, called it “kemisan.” Thursday-ing. The people who received these coins? “Pengemis.” The act? “Ngemis.”

Begging was born on a Thursday afternoon, under the shadow of a king who thought he was being kind.

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The original beggars—and this is the part that keeps me up at night, staring at the ceiling fan spinning useless circles in the dark—they weren’t looking for money. Not really. They wanted “ngalap”—blessings. They wanted to touch the hem of greatness, to feel the static electricity of power jump from royal fingers to their calloused palms.

But money changes things. Money always does.

The Serat Karangron tells us more, in verse 18–19 of stanza 32. The king didn’t just walk. Sometimes he rode in a carriage, scattering coins called “udhik-udhik” along the way. And when the locals heard those carriage wheels grinding against stone roads—that distinctive sound of wealth in motion—they emerged from their homes like creatures from a Stephen Spielberg nightmare. Squatting by the roadside. Waving torches. Waiting with hands upturned like empty bird nests.

Waiting for coins to fall like rain from heaven.

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Time passed. It always does, grinding away at traditions until they’re something different. Something twisted.

Today’s “pengemis” aren’t seeking blessings anymore. The dictionary definition has won out over history. They beg because they need money, or because they’ve found that desperation sells better than most honest labor.

In Cirebon, they fold their legs under their pants, creating phantom disabilities to encourage phantom generosity. At the intersection of Dr. Cipto Mangunkusumo and Kesambi streets, they perform their theater of suffering for an audience trapped at red lights.

In Salatiga, they use holy verses as currency, trading prayers for loose change. Some hide behind fictional organizations with religious-sounding names—as if God needed a middleman to collect His due.

And in Palu, Central Sulawesi, they time their appearances like farmers watching growing seasons. They emerge before Eid al-Fitr, when hearts are softest and wallets are fattest. When heavy traffic means captive audiences with nowhere to go but into their own guilt.

The rest of the year? Many work as “kijang”—porters in community gold mines. Digging for real treasure when the fake kind isn’t available.

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So that’s how it happened. That’s how a king’s Thursday charity became an industry of outstretched hands. That’s how blessing-seekers transformed into professionals who study human sympathy like generals studying enemy terrain.

Sometimes I think about those first beggars, lined up on Thursday afternoons in the 1890s. About what they would think of their descendants, scattered at traffic lights across Indonesia. Would they recognize the evolution of their devotion? Would they understand how their search for divine touch became a search for the divine in loose change?

Or would they turn away, ashamed, like fathers who don’t recognize their sons?

Maybe some traditions are better left buried. Maybe Thursday should just be Thursday again.

But I know better than that. Thursday will never be just Thursday in Indonesia. Not as long as there are hands reaching out from shadows, and other hands reaching back—either from guilt or genuine compassion.

After all, every tradition is just another ghost story we tell ourselves. And ghosts, I’ve found, never truly disappear. They just change shape, adapt, find new ways to haunt us.

Even on Thursdays.

Especially on Thursdays.

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